Tutorial: How to take your conversations to the next level. (A true story)

A true conversation in the Dyer House a few nights ago:

Her: How do I tell if this chicken is ready?
He: We eat it - then wait a few hours to see if we die.
Her: *blinks* That's not very nice.
He: Well, at least we'll die together.
Her: But... your stomach is stronger than mine - which means I will die and you will go on without me.
Him: Then I will just eat your remains and die from that.

I cannot make this stuff up.

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Other conversations with husband: see here, here, here, here and here.

We have a lot of conversations,
clearly.