New edition says: Spiders only eat girls. Boys are safe.
pleeeeaaasssse.
* * *
Good work boyfriend-fiance.
Actual Conversation:
Boyfriend-fiance: Did you notice anything new in the shower today?
me: No, i noticed NOTHING there!! YAY! Oh THANK YOU for killing the mutant spiders!
Boyfriend-fiance: No prob.
Me: I am so very very grateful.
Boyfriend-fiance: There were three of them.
me: I know. Jumanji. I told you.
Boyfriend-fiance: They were about to have babies.
me: SHAME! and you KILLED THEM!
Boyfriend-fiance: No, i just put them in your shoe.
* end