Thursday, December 9, 2010

Winter Sports

(actually HERE to be exact)

Before we begin, I would like to dedicate this blog post to Meredith Gifford and Angie Finnie.

ok, allow me to set the scene:

now, allow me to introduce our friends:

now. in my defense, i had been training very vigorously all morning on the dinky slopes with my coach:
(actually, she was way too advanced for me -
but don't worry - i smashed her in the English Spelling Bee Competition -
So we're one-for-one at the moment.)

(note: in this above statement - it was never said, "you are competent / able / average"... just.... well... not the WORST.)
"WEEEEHAAAA!!! WOOOHOOO!!!! YEAH!!!!"




this is a fantastic stopping mechanism and... it. will. work.
you. will. stop. I decided to employ che-stop-mechanism for the next 50 metres as follows:
If you wish to try the che-stop-mechanism i suggest aiming for advertisement banners if there are any - from my research I have concluded that they are much softer than fences and easier to disentangle yourself from than mesh-wire. Rogue snowboarders will also stop you. But i do not suggest this method.

Now I only really traversed approximately 50 metres in this time and managed to "stop" myself approximately 21 times. With numerous instances of:

Apparently, the ski patrol did not like this:


and the next thing i know...

that's right. 

man-handled out of the snow and strapped to one of those stabiliser board things that you see on Grey's Anatomy right before someone kicks the bucket.

i was carving, cutting, catching air, jet-turning, jumping and doing some tricks.

so, if anyone is planning on hitting up the slopes this season,

Call me.

i give lessons.

17 comments :

sarah g said...

This is the hardest I have ever laughed at one of your posts. Everyone in the ready room is looking at me. I can just hear this in your voice... Quite similar to my own skiing experience actually! I think we should go together sometime. No really. Just to see what would happen... :)

Caitlin said...

Hehehehehe che - gurney is crying with laughter :) The body bag sounds like SO much fun!!!

Che said...

YAY!!! LET'S GO TOGETHER!! i have two extra body bags.

Dicey said...

I love this post. Skiing is SO difficult for us South Africans, other people just don't understand. Also, the orange body bag is epic. I love it. I want one.
Too funny!

sarah-faye said...

Che, this is hilarious. Seriously brilliant!!!

Jerusha said...

Bwa ha ha! But seriously now. Ché! Are you alright? Is anything broken?

sarel said...

Chekay, I was having stomach convulsions trying to stop myself from laughing out VERY loud in a VERY quiet office. OMG, hilarious, hilarious, hilarious. This is my new favourite.

Lisa said...

wow, im literally crying with laughter chek...i can just imagine you telling this story with ur epic cabbage-infused-giraffeness inspriation! HILAR!

Juliana Negrelli said...

hahahaha Best post eveeeer!

Che said...

@Jerusha "i'm ok!" as i was trying to tell the ski patrol. haha this was last season..
so let's just wait and see what happens when i try skydiving...

Werner said...

Bwahahaha!!! brilliant post,che!

Bailey Schneider said...

I nearly wet myself. TMI, but true!
I have been wiping away tears of laughter!
Aw man ... that is brilliant! The "A" shape in skiing IS a total lie and I'm so glad I'm not the only one.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Thanks for the great blog. I read it every day!!

Kate/MagnoliaRouge said...

Just came over here from Gaby's blog... this is hilarious!! So funny!!

Anonymous said...

Brilliant! So true. Same happened to me...

Lauren said...

....I have tears in my eyes reading this! everyone on my office floor has seen this. haha. A really good laugh! SO you!

Laura Bezant said...

Oh, dear Lord - that was hilarious....

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