Winter Sports

(actually HERE to be exact)

Before we begin, I would like to dedicate this blog post to Meredith Gifford and Angie Finnie.

ok, allow me to set the scene:

now, allow me to introduce our friends:

now. in my defense, i had been training very vigorously all morning on the dinky slopes with my coach:

(actually, she was way too advanced for me -

but don't worry - i smashed her in the English Spelling Bee Competition -

So we're one-for-one at the moment.)

(note: in this above statement - it was never said, "you are competent / able / average"... just.... well... not the WORST.)

"WEEEEHAAAA!!! WOOOHOOO!!!! YEAH!!!!"

this is a fantastic stopping mechanism and... it. will. work.

you. will. stop. I decided to employ che-stop-mechanism for the next 50 metres as follows:

If you wish to try the che-stop-mechanism i suggest aiming for advertisement banners if there are any - from my research I have concluded that they are much softer than fences and easier to disentangle yourself from than mesh-wire. Rogue snowboarders will also stop you. But i do not suggest this method.

Now I only really traversed approximately 50 metres in this time and managed to "stop" myself approximately 21 times. With numerous instances of:

Apparently, the ski patrol did not like this:

and the next thing i know...

that's right. 

man-handled out of the snow and strapped to one of those stabiliser board things that you see on Grey's Anatomy right before someone kicks the bucket.

i was carving, cutting, catching air, jet-turning, jumping and doing some tricks.

so, if anyone is planning on hitting up the slopes this season,

Call me.

i give lessons.