Thursday, June 20, 2013

{cartoon} Our First Home Experiences

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The Husband and I have been living in our very first home together for just over a month now (or is it two - I can't tell). Moving in with your husband for the first time is an exciting and slightly nerve-wrecking experience. When you move into your first "married-people" home, you will find yourself saying/hearing/doing the most bizarre things. So I'd like to share a few of them today so that when you move into your own first "married-people" house - you can know what to expect.
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"Are you buying butter?"
"But we don't have anything to put the butter on. We don't have bread, rolls or even potatoes. We don't ever buy any of that stuff."
"I know... but like... married people always have butter in their fridges"
"mmm... yeah. I see what you mean ... yeah, that's true.
Ok. butter then."

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"Where's the tomato sauce?"
"It's in the cupboard."
"But I thought you liked to keep it in the fridge?"
"Yeah but, i thought you preferred to keep it in the cupboard?"
"What? I'm so confused. I'll just put it back in the fridge, next to the butter."
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"I need to use the bathroom"
"Are you serious? Ok then I'm going in there first"
"Don't be so rude, Warren!"
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"Why do we need to buy a toilet brush? We are newly-weds - we don't want to spend our money on toilet brushes! We want to spend our money on fancy dinners and champagne and expensive red wine!"
"I know... Well... what I was thinking... if we have a toilet brush - that means we have to clean the toilet. If we don't have a toilet brush - we don't have to clean the toilet."
"Exactly. That's why I married you. Sushi?"

* * * * *

"Do you really think the best place to hang all our laundry is right in the middle of the lounge? Like we have a huge two bedroom apartment all to ourselves and you want to hang the laundry right in the middle of the lounge. Like, if you're sitting on the couch - you have to look through the underwear to see the TV?"
"Yeah. I see your point. Maybe it's not the best place. Should we put it in the passage?"
"Or maybe just in this little nook that's made for laundry."

* * * * *

"Do you honestly separate your washing into whites, pinks, blues, greens, shirts and underwear? I thought it was just lights and darks?"

* * * * *

"You hang washing like my grandmother."

* * * * *

"Are you going to turn your alarm off?"
"I don't understand, if you're going to snooze for an hour - then why not just set your alarm for an hour later, get some proper extra sleep and wake up when it goes off?"
"I like to feel in control of the alarm clock... when it goes off I like to feel like HUH! Alarm! You ain't the boss of me! SNOOZE."
"You are so strange"

* * * * *

"Should we get a roasting tray?"
"What do you mean? Like a roasting-roasting tray?"
"Yeah, like for a Christmas carvery and such."
"We don't really have proper mugs or forks yet though"
"But married people always have roasting trays."
"Yeah, ok"

* * * * *

And another thing -
Before you move into your new apartment - make sure you are fully aware of all the building recycling/garbage disposal regulations before you accumulate 2 weeks worth of stenchy dustin-gunk. If not, you will end up, up to your elbows in steaming garbage juice - 

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* * * * *

I am absolutely loving living with my man-beast for the first time. If you are ever in the hood - do stop by and come and visit us in our husband-and-wife house! We would be delighted to show you some married-hospitality and if you're lucky enough we will even offer you some tea. 

And of course, 
a generous helping of butter.


GeeGee said... fridge? that's as weird as chocolate in the fridge, and it's taken me 4 years to get my Saffer to agree that his choc can go in the fridge and mine can go in the cupboard. Loving the conversations though, it sounds like you guys are making the most of the Firsts, and you will keep having those conversations for years!

Caley said...

Hahaha, your "marriage diaries" are even funnier because I can relate to them! Amazing how two people so in sync and so in love can come from such opposite ways of being brought up and traditions! Life really does shape us x

Andrea said...

Hahaha... my fiance is seriously worried about the bathroom one. Like, he wants to soundproof/ vacuum seal the loo. Also I once had an argument with a digsmate about the tomato sauce thing, and it definitely goes in the fridge - says so on the bottle - it can go rancid in the cupboard. Ha! And I totally do that with the alarm too... no alarm's going to tell me what to do!

Amy CT said...

Oh lord, you are a massive cause of work procrastination now I've found this blog! :)

I've been living with my long-term boyfriend for just over a month now and if the "married" elements of this were deducted it's pretty much spot on!

Che Kershaw said...

hahaha :) but the question is - DO YOU HAVE BUTTER?

Amy CT said...

He's a bloody vegan, so no ;)