After backpacking around Cambodia, Vietnam and Laos for 5 weeks - I feel I have become an unequivocal expert on Asian lavatory-systems. I would like to impart some of my accumulated knowledge with you to better prepare you if you ever decide to have an extended period of bumming around Asia. (see what i did there?) I have identified five varieties of Asian Ablutions. Pay attention:
That was a joke.
I was making sure you are paying attention.
This stuff is serious.
look at your shaky legs. and you haven't even assumed the position yet. lol.
(I recommend pre-Asian-holiday quad-squat marathons in your nearest gymnasium. You'll be grateful.)
DO NOT SIT DOWN.
YOU DIDN'T DO YOUR EXERCISES!!
really.
No pre-purchased toilet paper in your hand-bag?
THE VERY FIRST VITAL RULE of backpacking Asia.
yeah, bet you wish you had done those quad-squats now.
too late buddy.
don't drink the water.
i'm not kidding.
You may want to practise a few emergency landings too.
A clothes peg will help. But not much.
Practise natural mouth-breathing techniques.
Rogue twigs.
GAAH.
Not even 8 year olds can get away with this.
Girl-aiming is tricksy, but you really need to try.
you don't want other people watching.
There is a fine line between avoiding 'the others' and becoming 'that person'.
just kidding,
water is good for you.
