Saturday, March 30, 2013

{It's personal} Holding mah shit together.

I received this beautiful post card today from my lovely Maid of Honour Kerry. (Actually it had arrived on Monday - but my mom had kept it hidden until this morning). I don't usually do such "personal-blabby" posts on indieBerries but I thought I would just take a few minutes to take a little breather here and preserve how I'm feeling right now for the future kids (and all of indieBerries land). 

Getting married is no joke. It's for a lifetime. Like, for Realsies. and Forever. With the person you admire, love and adore above all else and it's emotional man. E-MO-tion.AL. At "regular" weddings (ie any wedding that is not my own) I'm a teary-sob-face. I just get so happy and overwhelmed with good emotion that it pours out my eyeballs. But this wedding, this is my own wedding and I have no idea how I'm going to keep my shit together - It's just gonna be pouring out of every facehole and there ain't nothing I can do to stop it.

Eyes. nose. snot. saliva.

It's gonna be beautiful.

To give you an idea of the extensiveness of this problem, I thought I would post the post card that I received this morning from my Maid of Honour. When I opened it and started reading it - the emotions began with a 'classy tear'. A very refined and elegant tear, showing exactly the right amount of controlled emotion. Then my mom and dad came into the room and started snapping pics of me asking "What does it say?!"

Me: It says, "Dearest Ché, special friend..... waaaaaaa waaaaa no, I can't. I just can't"

Then started the 'borderline tears'. Borderline tears are on the brink of un-attraction. They are very streamy and gushy - but no nose action involved yet. So within the space of one postcard sentence, I have progressed from 'classy tears' to 'borderline tears'. Excellent. So my folks left me alone to have my little moment and I messaged my beautiful Maid of Honour to say that I had gotten her postcard and she phoned right away to explain some stuff on the postcard and to say how excited they are to see me.

Then began the 'ugly tears'. I am pretty sure, I don't need to explain 'ugly tears'. They are streamy, snotty, face-puffy, red-eye-makin' kind of freak-tears that contribute to highly un-attractive face-contorting.  Throw in a few breathy-guffaws and you have yourself a circus show. You look down and your neck is completely sopping and you don't know what kind of liquid it is, but it's definitely come out your face.

Ugly tears exhibit A:


From a postcard.

Now, the problem with the 'ugly-tears' is that once you are on a roll - you are on. a. roll. Everything will make you emotional. I posted this postcard pic on twitter and my friend Keri replied with some smileys. (smileys).
Me: waaaaa waaaa waaaa.... guffaw... waaa... wahhhaaaa....

Then I opened up the most heartfelt and beautiful email from another friend of mine, also a Kerry.

Me: waaaaa waaaaa. waaa... that's so beautiful!!... wwwaa..... guffaw.. waaaa.. wailing... waa.. and why do i have so many friends named Kerry?! waaaaaa..... waaa....*snot*..... wailing waaaa..

So. If this bout of ugly tear-bombing was induced from a postcard. I have no idea how I'm going to control myself on the actual day - (exactly one week from now). {On a side-note, they should think of a way to harness tear-drops to convert to electrical energy - cause I could single-handedly solve all the world's fuel-consumption problems - just thinking about it gets me teary}.

Also - Warren landed in South Africa on Friday morning and is busy having his head flushed in a toilet/ jumping off a bridge/ streaking through busy traffic/ taming rabid lions with his Bachelors Weekend. If he survives his Stag do, I will see him on Monday afternoon - for the first time since the end of February when I left London. I have no doubt it's gonna be emotional.

I'm gonna wipe all my snot, tears and face-juice all over him.

But don't worry,
He loves it.


A Daft Scots Lass said...

You could never produce ugly #tears. You are adorable and a wedding is very emotional.. and tenfold of it is your own!

Tanya J said...

It's going to get worse. I promise. The day before is the worst.

GeeGee said...

You HAVE waterproof maascara, correct? I don't mean elegant weeping mascara, I need ugly how did snot come out of my tear ducts mascara and why is my dress the same colour as my eyeshadow all of a sudden?

If you find it, please lemme know as I need it. Writing messages to my BMs and Strong Women in My Family had me weeping. I wasnt even reading anything!

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