What if...

What if...

given the recent London Riots... it's not too hard to imagine...

image from Photoshoplooter

- "it's good fir a laff yeh"

NSFW (and other letters)

Apologies for the blogging go-slow... I've been on the go in London town ;)and up at Reading for the festival and out of wifi range. (awesome time) Anywhoooo...

One of the classes that I developed for our ESL (English Second Language) theme park is about an alien who has a broken spaceship. We talk about space and the things we can see in space and then we have to go on an adventure to different parts of the world (desert, ocean etc) and do different challenges in order to find the pieces of the missing spaceship so that the Alien can fly back to his home in space.

Before we can begin our mission around the world, we have to build a mini crazy character profile for the alien - you know, a bit of an ice-breaker and to encourage the kids to speak freely and get warmed up for the class...

"excellent! good work!" 

(kid getting more and more adamant about the alien eating penis.)



look at co-teacher. co-teacher shrugs. Adopt vital ESL technique:

(penis. that's not a word. what are you talking about?)

kid points to Venus on the Solar System Map.

Gaaah. VENUS. of course it is.

Note the completely defeated expression of hopelessness on young Asian child's face and realise that if exposed, this single moment of humilation may make him never want to speak english again in his life, ever.  Executive Decision: Just. go. with it.



and that was the day i endorsed Penis as a delectable treat for green Aliens to a class of 10 year old Asians. oh my life.  - the end.

yeah, you little penis-eater. thanks a lot.

What if Wednesday

WHAT IF...

hello.

If this automated post goes off, then i will have been successful at the internet.

well done me.

I'm on the way to London Town for a vacay - eep! currently as this is scheduled to be posted, I will be dealing with an epic flight of death. BUT, may i remind you that I am VERY GOOD at making my OWN "inflight entertainment". If you are planning on making a long journey in the near future, i suggest you consult my handy manual. That's all for now. Mind the gap.

7 things

7 things I've learnt this week:

1. In life there are small decisions and there are big decisions. Just because something is a big decision it doesn't necessarily mean it should be a difficult decision.
2. Wine is infinitely more delicious when enjoyed with good company and great chocolate.
3. Incessant mold plus insane humidity is. a. biaatch.
4. Sometimes you need a good friend. And sometimes you need four.
5. Law of Murphy: if you paint your toenails or go for a pedicure, someone will stand on your foot.
6. Often it is difficult to stay alive in a live band show given the marsh-pit mentality. oh the irony.
7. Sometimes you need to be super organised and sometimes you need to just go with the flow.

sushi winning

To announce the winner of the Groupon Sushi Voucher Giveaway :




I have however decided that cornflakes on your sushi is actually rather grand.
That way, if you ever miss breakfast - you can just smash some sushi and get two meals done in one. I love how good Korea is at time management.

So... Since there were two people who guessed CHEESE as one of the unique ingredients - I have decided to award the sushi voucher to Jade Wall who guessed CHEESE and HAM.

This is because Korea's "NORMAL" take on sushi includes HAM.
Sometimes it also includes cheese and beef.
but mainly...
THE HAM.

You can watch the making of it in action here:

If you would like to see how to make Kimbap, watch the whole thing.
If you would like a little chuckle... watch from 4:00 minutes.



Congrats to Jade, I will be in touch for your sushi voucher :)

Wolves

Wolves - Bronze Radio Return.

thick fog

it hangs, it hangs in the air

for now, our vision impaired

we can't see far

but we can see right here

and it feels like something is coming

and we've got no time to prepare

and the woods around us are humming

with the howls of a new affair

and are we listening now?

now you know you can't fool everyone

because soon we'll all catch on

that the wolves are back again

you can hide or you can run

against the grain

but as soon as the thunder comes

all the wolves are back again

we won't be afraid and wont look away

because it's happening

we can fight it or invite to stay

and it won't be long

before the fences are

taller than our happy homes

and a beast still has a heart

and it beats real hard

pumps the blood like a flood

to its open scars

and it'll bleed like you and me

to find out just what we are

and it feels like something is coming

and I'm glad its finally here

and it might be worth all becoming

like the wolves we used to fear

and are we listening now?

Now you know you can't fool everyone

because soon we'll all catch on

that the wolves are back again

you can hide or you can run

against the grain

but as soon as the thunder comes

all the wolves are back again

all the wolves, all the wolves,

oh they’re back, oh they’re back

oh they’re back, oh they’re back again

Oh, I’m gonna let it in

Oh, Im gonna let it in,

Oh, I’m gonna let it in

Oh, Im gonna let it in,

Now you no you can't fool everyone

because soon we'll all catch on

that the wolves are back again

Oh, I’m gonna let it in

Oh, Im gonna let it in, I am, I am, I am

Oh, I’m gonna let it in

Oh, Im gonna let it in, I am, I am, I am

Listen

HERE

* * * * * 

All images via we heart it.

What if Wednesday

What if my great great grandkids stumble upon indieBerries?