Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Domestic un-goddess.

So, The Warr and I moved into our very first home together about three weeks ago. Being a newly wed wife - I have done my utmost to try and prove myself as a wonderful wifely domestic goddess with just a dash of seductress. You know the kind I'm talking about - those ones with the gourmet meals, the washing/cleaning/ironing sorted, the bedecked tables and the baked cupcakes on the side - all whilst donning some kind of fancy-brand apron, red lippy, underwear and heels.



Last night I set about boiling some eggs for us -

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Now, the 2 out of 4 egg boiling success rate wouldn't be such a problem if it was not combined with the previous night's domestic encounters:

Scene 1:
*Warren arrives home*

indieBerries: You'll never guess how amazing and house-wifely I've been! I've chopped up some vegetables for dinner, I've done some ironing, a workout AND, I've put on a load of laundry! *silently smiles and pats self on back for own awesomeness*
The Warr: Wow! I'm SO impressed! *silently smiles and pats self on back for marrying so well*
indieBerries: Well the washing is still going to be a while - so let's eat this "GOURMET MEAL" I'VE PREPARED!

nom. nom.

Scene 2:
*Dinner finishes - Warren goes to get the clothes out of the washing machine*

The Warr: Wow - this washing is really dry.
indieBerries: Perfect! Everything is just perfect! I'm WONDERFUL!
The Warr: No, but like... it's really dry.
indieBerries: ok. Excellent! We don't need to hang it then!
The Warr: No. It's like really, really dry - and also - warm. What exactly did you do?
indieBerries: Well, I put the clothes into the drum. Then I poured liquid detergent all over them in the drum. Then I pushed start. Is that not how it works?

*Warren starts the slow clap and LOL*

Yep, guys.

I loaded our dirty laundry into the washing machine - added a crap-ton of liquid washing detergent and fabric softener to all the clothes and then set it to tumble-dry.

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Total housewife: Tick.

If you are bored today and would like to read more about my misadventures in domesticity - you can read the one about the vacuum cleaner, the one about the steaming bean-piles or the one about the washing machine.

But now, if you'll excuse me - 
I have some of Warren's shirts to burn.


Sammy said...

Can I just say that you made my day with this post!!! hahahaha :) your blog is so amazing but THIS is another level of awesome!! :)

GeeGee said...

They smelled amazing though, right?

A Daft Scots Lass said...


Gaby Frescura said...

You are too funny!

Anyway, no kidding, here is my absolutely 100% foolproof way to get perfectly boiled eggs every single time. Warren will think he has married the Martha Stewart of the egg world.

1. Don't keep your eggs in the fridge, keep them in the cupboard. They should always be room temperature to be cooked. This is the single biggest mistake people make.
2. Put enough water in a small saucepan that it will cover the eggs when you put them in. Don't use a big saucepan, as the eggs smash each other up, Fight Club style.
3. Heat the water until it's simmering. NOT boiling, just a gentle simmer.
4. Use a dessert spoon to gently lower eggs into the water. TIME THEM FOR ONE MINUTE. Seriously, use a timer.
5. Take them off the heat and put a lid on the pot. Then leave them in the hot water for 6 or 7 minutes, depending on how runny you like them. Leave them an extra 2 or 3 minutes for hard boiled. Again, use a timer.
6. You're done! Unless you want them hard boiled, in which case, put them in cold water until they are completely cold so you don't get black rings on them.

I'm pretty sure I got this from Delia many years ago and YES, I once felt I was so culinarily challenged as to need to google the best way to boil an egg. But now, I can even poach them. So Michelin. Domestic goddessnicity awaits you.

Tanya J said...

Easy boiled egg trick: water + vinegar (just a drop). Once it's boiling, add eggs slowly with a big serving spoon. FIVE MINUTES. Voila!

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Che Kershaw said...

hahahhaa that method looks WAY more complicated than my current recipe of "whack it in a pot and hope for the best" but i i will definitely try your method so that I can be the martha stewart of the egg world. hahaha lol :)

domestic goddessnicity is MINE.

Che Kershaw said...

hahaha oh i have plenty more egg boiling stories where that came from. haha lol :)

Che Kershaw said...

that was the first thing warr said
"well at least they smell really good." hahaha