Tuesday, September 24, 2013

National Braai Day: 5 Simple Codes of Braai Conduct

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You will be shunned from your braai-clan and you shall NEVER be allowed to return.

May you roast in the fiery BBQ pits from whenst you came.

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Everyone should roughly look the same,
(give or take some pigmentation).

Appropriate attire - 

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Vuvuzela's are especially great for re-directing braai-smoke away from yourself.
You will also find that they are highly entertaining for a few toots after a few toots.

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If you were shunned from your braai-clan for using inappropriate "barbeque-terminology" you may wish to appear at the next braai in this South-African-Flag-attire. The braai clan will notice your reignited commitment and they may let you back into their smoke circle.

It's worth the risk - but,
It's not guaranteed.

At the very least, you will have earned back some of your own self-respect.

* * * * * * *

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When waiting for your meat to be perfectly cooked, 
snack on some meat that is perfectly un-cooked.

Side Note: If you have per chance braai-ed anything from the right hand side column, 
you will know that your (very) beautiful wife, has gotten the better of you.


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not cool guy.

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Repeat: DO NOT cry about this situation. However, depending on how many beverages you have consumed at this point, crying may be involuntary. Which brings us to Point # 5:

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Coincidentally, all the boys will also have brought a few extra beers "for the boys" - which, coincidentally leaves an excellent little surplus. Whatever shall we do with these extra beers?

I know!

Give an extra beer to your wife!

oh, wait - 

she's in the kitchen making salad.

*the end

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Marita Macdonald said...

Love this che! My brother in law is marrying a British girl and she is still trying to get her head around why the women always congregate in the kitchen...I mean, that's where we drink our most wine and share the best gossip right? And it's a smoke-free zone :)

Dom said...

Che! You forgot one of the cardinal rules! "There's always that one doos that brings chicken to the braai - don't be that guy"

bodyandfeetretreat said...

LOL - it's so long since I heard (or saw) the word 'braai'. We left SA nearly 14 years ago and have completely converted to having a BBQ because nobody (except ex SA) understands what we are inviting them to if we invite them over for a braai !!!!
Love love love this post for the memories it brought back !
Have the best day !

Little Miss Medic said...

Ha ha, love the bit about the boerewors touching someone else's :)