Wedding Planning: The realm of colour coded emails, elaborate spreadsheets (including complicated number formulas - set up by your finance-world-fiance) and above all - lack of sleep.
Aaah.... Sleep: That beautiful, mystical thing that modern I-will-do-it-all-myself brides can only dream about. And the small pockets of sleep you do manage to steal will include wedding-mares of torn dresses, leaked ink pens, drug-dealers at your wedding and half your guests not arriving. Typical bedtime routines now include the following -
9:40pm: Think about going to sleep. Brush your teeth.
10pm: Suddenly remember that you still need to get several more postal addresses from prospective guests. Log onto Facebook to message them.
10:30pm: Realise that you've been on facebook for 20minutes longer than necessary. Switch to Pinterest.
11:25pm: You have now been stalking the weddings of complete strangers for almost a full hour. Scold yourself. Turn your computer off.
11:27pm: Turn your computer back on, you need to write down the addresses that you just received.
11:30pm: Someone just posted a wedding album on Facebook. Look through the album. Decide that you just can't quite see exactly what they did with those name cards. Try find other guests and friends who may have different photos of the wedding.
11:32pm: Look through the albums of friends of friends of friends who have all been at the same wedding. May take several hours. You still cannot quite make out their name card situation. Google their stationer.
11:40pm: Land up on several different wedding stationery sites. Not one of them is the one you have seen in the Facebook album. Pin all the wedding stationery.
11:50pm: Start worrying that your name cards are going to be the same as their name cards. No. We can't have that. Panic a little.
11:52pm: Message Fiance: I'm worried about the name cards.
11:53pm: Message Fiance again: Are you awake? Have you already gone to bed? I'm worried about the name cards!
11:54pm: Fiance is not answering his phone. He has probably asleep.
11:55pm: Bombard Fiance with messages on all forms of social media: The Name Cards! The Name Cards! The Name Cards!
11:56pm: Decide to look through the Facebook wedding album again - because if they already have the same name cards as you - then what else might they have that is also your idea?!
12am: Look through wedding album again. Realise that you haven't thought of how you're going to lay out your Wedding Menu. Panic more.
12:15am: Decide to start mocking up a wedding menu in photoshop.
12:30am: Email the caterer with various questions about the menu
12:35am: Still waiting for the caterer to reply.
12:40am: Caterer has not replied. Decide to not waste time and work on your church programs instead. Remember that you haven't chosen wedding hymns.
12:43am: Message Fiance: We need to choose wedding hymns!
12:44am: Message Fiance Again: Are you seriously sleeping in this time of crisis?!
12:45am: No reply from fiance.
12:55am: Open Photoshop, Start designing church programs - you will slot the hymns in later.
1:05am: Make yourself a cup of coffee. This is going to take a while.
1:15am: Start designing. Realise that you absolutely need the Hymns to finish the Church programs.
1:20am: Coffee buzz kicks in. Decide to work on something else.
1:23am: Log onto email to see if the caterer has replied.
1:24am: Caterer hasn't replied. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE?!
1:30am: Address some envelopes.
1:45am: Run out of envelopes. Google bridesmaid dresses. Pin Bridesmaid dresses. Remove bridesmaid dresses from pinterest pinboard and move them to your secret Pinterest Board. Don't want people stealing your ideas like they did with the name cards.
1:55am: Go back onto Facebook - try have another look at those name cards.
2am: Try and work out how many people at The Facebook Wedding, will be at your wedding as well.
2:15am: Open your guest-list file to try calculate overlaps. Realise that you haven't yet finalised your guest list. More Panic.
2:30am: Work yourself into a frenzy. Maybe you should do a workout to burn off this extra stress?
2:35am: Decide to give up and go to bed.
2:47am: Brush your teeth again. Get into bed.
2:53am: Lie in bed.
2:54am: Message Fiance: I can't sleep.
2:54am - 3:04am: Message Fiance until he wakes up.
3:05am: Fiance wakes up. Fiance replies: It's 3 o'clock in the morning. GO TO BED!!
3:06am: Message Fiance: I CAN'T! TOO MUCH TO DO! TOO MUCH TO THINK ABOUT!!
3:07am: Fiance: Ok, Write it down.
3:08am: Message Fiance: I can't. It's 3am. It's way too dark!
3:09am: Fiance: You are impossible. Do you want me to call you?
3:11am: Message Fiance: No, it's ok. I think I'm gonna go to sleep now.
* * * * * *
6am: Message from Fiance: You know, since you woke me up - I've been lying awake thinking about all the stuff we still need to do.
6:01am: Message Fiance: Oh GOOD! Did you manage to have a look at that Wedding Album on Facebook?!......