Thursday, December 12, 2013

Conversations (with mother)

Our internet has been down for the past two days - which basically means I have had a complete FLATLINING experience. This is not a joke. Yesterday was all KINDS of kak.

Mid-way through conversation with my mother on Wednesday morning:

Mother: So, your brother arrives on Sunday.
Me: What?
Mother: Blake is coming on Sunday.
Me: What? To where?
Mother: London, your house, on Sunday.
Me: THIS Sunday?
Mother: Yes. I thought you knew.
Me: But not THIS Sunday!!
Mother: Yes. THIS SUNDAY. He leaves on Saturday.
Me: WHY did nobody tell me this?!
Mother: We thought you knew! Did you not know?
Me: No. Clearly not!!
Mother: And then we leave next Wednesday.
Me: What?
Mother: I said, we leave on Wednesday.
Me: What? Where are you going?!
Mother: Oh, we're going to Thailand.
Me: WHAT?!?
Mother: Oh, I thought you knew.
Me: GEEZ mom! Is there anything else you want to tell me?! Are you having a baby?!
Mother: What?! You're having a baby?!?
Me: NO. YOU! Are YOU having a baby?!
Mother: Why would I have a baby?!? I'd SHOOT myself if I had a baby. But are YOU having a baby?
Me: NO. It would be lovely if you could inform me of these THINGS.

Anyway, from there the day just went from bad to worse, to worser. Shelves fell on me. The internet broke. I had a headache. There was no chocolate. I had the gremlins of self-doubt. It was ALLLLLL happening. Now, when I am feeling all down in the dumps, husband has named me his little blue berry. Sad face emoticon. Last night, he brought home a delicious blueberry muffin and he made me a delicious mug of milo and we ATE ALL MY FEELINGS.

 photo blueberry2_zps676fcea6.jpg

Then I followed husband around the house for a while.

Husband: Why are you following me?
Me: I don't know *shrugs* you make me happy- I just like being near you.
Husband: um...ok...
Me: when I'm near you I'm less blue berry and more Strawberry.
Husband: Ok then - come along!

 photo blueberry_zps0584f808.jpg
Sometimes all it takes is a blueberry muffin and mug of milo to make the world right again
(oh, and a good husband that'll also do the trick)


* I had a great cartoon on the calendar for yesterday - but now you will just have to wait until Monday when I get a gap to upload it all to the blog - right now, as you can imagine with two days of no internet  - I'm all sorts of behind on client emails that I need to send!

Toodles yo!

And just for the record: I'm NOT having a baby.
And neither is my mother.


Johlet said...

Ahhh this is so cute!

Blake said...

Um I Didn't know that I was such a burden there sis But if you want to I can always just sleep on the lawn outside in the cold (if you have a lawn that is) in the freezing freezing cold. You know whatever I can not to be a burden.

Che Kershaw said...

hahaha :) we are looking forward to having you! (and we've prepared a tent in the garden. Wait. what? are you kidding? There are no gardens in London! :) See you on Sunday Big Little bro x

Dee Kershaw said...

Thanks for providing the Blueberry, Warren!
It has all crept up very quickly...I was also thinking still a week to go! !

Divya said...

I follow my flatmate around when I'm feeling needy too!

Freya said...

I had the worst day too! like, the WORST! All the bad. Terrible, horrible, no good, very bad... AWFUL. Rubbish. PANTS!


Dee said...

Aww poor blueberry! I love Milo too! I always drink it when I'm all kinds of stressed in the office. Hope your internet doesn't act up again and thanks for clarifying that neither you nor your mother is having a baby. :P

Kirst said...

This is a week old already so I hope you're all strawberries again! My parents do the same thing to me all the time. This conversation has happened not once but TWICE:

Mom: "Oh, your cousin had her baby yesterday!"
Me: "Don't you have to be pregnant to have a baby? Hang on, is she pregnant?!"

I also found out my mother had a new job because she tweeted it. True story.